Monday, March 25, 2013


Ok...I try to keep this blog more or less informative. And I try not to rant without at least pretending to have an educational reason to do so. But right now I'm royally pissed off, and feel the need to say so.

I have gastroparesis. Not even liquids empty from my stomach as they should. My specialists realize this, and realize that it is a very serious condition. I've been steadily losing weight for a long time now, despite my best efforts to get calories somehow, anyhow. Last Sunday the combination of half a protein bar and an antibiotic made me glad I'd purchased bright pink barf buckets. This is not fun. This is not normal. This is not what I want. People with gastroparesis cannot eat things with much fiber, so salads, for example, are out. I love salads. I used to eat them on an almost daily basis. Now I can't. I'm pretty much stuck to liquids these days.

Reading all of that, just imagine how I feel when I am told that it is, essentially, my fault. My primary care doctor (who is no longer my primary doctor) believes that I am anorexic. Not anorexic in the scientific meaning of the term, "does not or cannot eat," but anorexic in the mental illness sort of way. His logic? Anorexia means you don't eat. Not eating slows down your stomach. Ergo, I'm anorexic and that's why I have gastroparesis. Note that he has not even bothered to get the report from the GI doctor. He didn't see the endoscopy results, nor does he care about them. Anorexic he believes me to be, therefore anorexic I must be. No firm evidence that contradicts his pet theory will sway the idiot. I do not appreciate this.

I have to live with my disease every minute of every day. I have to live with the sure knowledge that every physician, psychologist and/or personal trainer will immediately assume that I am anorexic. I have to sit in class trying not to be made sick by the smell of my neighbors' food. I can handle all of that. But what I can't handle is being told that it is a mental illness that, though serious, I do not have. It insults me, and it insults those who genuinely suffer from anorexia nervosa.

Parting Tip: Don't ask a chronicaly ill person how she stays so thin. Just. Don't.


  1. So what exactly did he propose you do about it? JUST GET OVER IT????? If it is a mental illness, did he have any suggestion of how to treat it? Or did he just want to pat your hand and then his own back for being so smart. My father-in-law's doctor said he would die of congestive heart failure, so years later, when he died of stroke-like symptoms, the doctor, who hadn't even seen him during his last illness, put "congestive heart failure" on his death certificate. Obviously you can't believe everything you read in public records. And you definitely can't believe every word that comes out of the mouth of some doctors. I'm glad you didn't bite his head off because 1) there is a law against that and 2) it would have been truly indigestible. I hope the new primary care doctor is a little quicker on the draw. And I declare your rant to be 100% justified. If I could help by listening to more rant or ranting at your ex-doctor for you I would. But I think you really need competent medical help and maybe an IV. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

    1. I'm scheduled to see a shrink next week. I finally gave up fighting because it was pointless, and I think all chronically ill people should see a shrink once in a while anyway. Just to make sure we don't go bonkers and kill our other doctors.

    2. dr. just make u want to barf with there no all cant win if your over weight it not meds!!your take in in more calories noooo..i eat once day i cant eat lot time i cant swollow...when i can eat i eat.. i had sjorgren for 30 years i cant eat whole sandwitch i use slim fast protien bars i do fruits in blender but now i cant handle that lot time i cant understand how educated dr. dont get there more to it then tears saliva but at least i get half sandwich my point sam you no your body better then aney one else you have moore education then maney of us we get what your going through your starveing no fault your own they want play crazy card just love it i see shrink i have for 8 years i been ill maney getting worse esp... last couple years i went to one when i started morphine they wanted make sure i wasent drugie or sick mentaly it plays in my favor i get my morphine dr. leave me a lone so i can deal with lupus heart issues mixed connective just name few no your in my prayers i wish there was some thing i could do to help but if there driveing you crazy with md in front your name there not lot hope for rest of us..who go dr.i realy hope they get to bottom of this can you do blog on what you have i like to no more about it i trust what you no from first hand good luck sam...p.s feel free vent vent vent

  2. I'm so glad you're replacing him. I'm so glad the gastroparesis got diagnosed. And Laura, that certificate is almost funny, in a laugh-it-off sort of way.

    I once had a doctor, colleague of my own and the one on call, woken up in the middle of the night because I had had an episode of my heart stopping. His reaction--and granted, I'm not at my best coming out of a sound sleep either--was to say to me, in a voice dripping with condescension, You had a bad dream. Go back to bed!

    Uh yeah. Got an apology out of that one in the morning after he'd had a few hours to wake up and also to get a good talking-to by my doctor.